Crucial Moment

 It was at that moment, 

you know...the one between crying and smiling, 

the one moment when all you want to do is throw in the towel 

and scream 

“AAAAHHHHH!!”

But,

it was at that moment 

she recognized 

her worth 

and she decided to fight harder than she had ever fought; 

to fuel the fire 

within her, 

the one that makes her shine. 

Because even if no one else saw her value,

placed her on a shelf forgotten ,

took her for granted, 

she would persevere.

She’d do for herself what she felt no other person had done for her. 

She would fight. 

She would smile, 

even if a flood of tears threatened to overcome. 

She would not drown. 

She would not be taken over. 

She would still shine. 

She knew her value;

Who made her 

valuable 

was greater than any one person in her life. 

He had loved her enough to save her 

before 

she even knew she needed saving. 

So she wouldn’t throw His gift away. 

She would cling to the hope that set her afloat and helped her move on. 

moving on, 

causes you to leave

So

she knew she’d find what had been lost, again; 

after all,

He has always supplied

and He was always sufficient. 

And it was at that moment 

that she decided 

to remember 

what had been done to her, 

she had done to Him. 

It was a that moment, 

she forgave.

She set herself free. 

Everything after that moment,

forever altered. 

It was at that moment, 

she began to live.

—poem “Crucial Moment” by Liz 12/2019

Strange Effects

Strange effects:

joy amidst darkness and sadness?!

difficult 

to explain, 

to wrap your head 

around 

the inexplicable 

heart effect. 

I think of you. 

I miss you, 

terribly!!

The agonizing pain your departure left, 

Replaced!!

The gaping hole,

Diminished!

Happiness seeps out,

Joy never lost. 

I smile. 

Thoughts of you 

vivid;

shedding tears unequivocally demonstrate:

I miss you!!

But,

the aching pain,

the guttural streams of sadness 

Replaced!!

Waves of joy 

embrace me. 

“How?!” 

I’m asked. 

 “It’s a faith thing,” smiling in reply.

Thoughts mixed with tears 

—by Liz reflecting on the end of a season 2015

You should know,

Better! 

Getting your hopes,

Up? 

Don't!

Things generally workout?

How you hope!!

I've learned:

God always has better, 

even if better means 

alone. 

Will there be 

sadness? 

Yes 

Tears? 

Yes 

Will you be desolate? 

NO! 

Will it be the end? 

NO!

You will

 smile.  

laugh. 

love. 

You will be 

whole!

You, 

depend on GOD! 

The road 

may not 

lead where you thought

But 

the destination,

Better!

Time for 

new dreams,

new aspirations. 

Let dreaming begin!! 

Twenty Years by Liz remembering dad’s early departure 10/2013

Never thought 
this day

would arrive.

I'd actually survive?

It’s, twenty years

Later, 

I'm alive?

Always imagined 
this day.

Sneaking up

quickly!

Emotions, 

raw.

Sadness, 

ever present.

But, twenty years

Later, 

I'm alive?!

Never fathomed

Me?

Full and overflowing?

Joy-

full?

Peace-

full?

Somehow, twenty years

Later, 

I'm alive.

This day,

rarely dreamed.

Thought

I'd die with you.

Life 

STOPPED.

with you.

But, slowly,

I,

chose, 

to,
live.

Look! Twenty years,

Later!

I'm alive!

Sit back and enjoy the ride

     Amazing how time is able to fly away, and before you realize it, if you don't stop to pay attention, your life has been nothing more than a series of fleeting moments. I want my life to count. I want my life to be more than a fleeting moment. I want my life to be purposeful. I want to live out the purpose God set within my existence. However, in order for this to be more than a desire or a thought, I have to ensure the distractions do not take the focus away from what is really important.
     Incredibly, I have a simple command; Psalms 37:4 tells me to delight in the Lord and HE will give me the desires of my heart. However, doesn't it seem like we spend more time worrying about life than actually enjoying it?? How do I delight myself in the Lord when I am too busy trying to be the Lord of my life? This command is truly an impossible feat if I am not ensuring I cast all my cares upon the Lord (Psalms 55:22).
     Recently, I realized just how difficult it can be to delight myself in the Lord. Although the word tells me God provides me with a peace that is beyond my comprehension and he is my joy, I learned these are merely words if I am lacking a very important component. See I cannot delight myself in someone I do not trust. This, at the very root, is the main problem which keeps so many of us tied to working the countless overtime in our jobs. At the very core, this issue is what ensures so many of us work ourselves into an early grave. When I cannot trust the very creator of heaven and earth supplies my needs and takes care of me, then I am unable to enjoy his presence. I am unable to allow him to take care of providing my needs and fulfilling my desires. At some point on the road towards maturity I have deceived myself into thinking I possess all the answers and solutions for my everyday life.
   What a common misconception it is to live a life where we think we are able to make it on our own!! God never called me to be alone. He called me to collaborate and ensure that His purpose is established. So, when I think about wanting to ensure the purpose God set within me is accomplished, I must remember that this has nothing to do with me, but is has always been and will continue to be about Him. He is in charge. He will provide. He will make the way. I just follow and enjoy the ride; hence, I delight myself in Him. 

Constant Joy

It's funny how all my life I have been instructed to be focused. For many years, I have assumed I have been focused. I have been focused on completing certain goals, attaining certain degrees, excelling in certain jobs. However, I have recently come to realize that my focus has been on moving targets. What are moving targets? Moving targets are goals that continue to change or evolve. These goals must change and evolve because at times the previous goal is met or life just dictates the goal be changed. However, I understand these moving targets cause a wave of emotions within me. If a goal is reached, I am happy. If a goal is unmet, I am sad.
This cycle has caused a problem within my emotions. The issue is this rollercoaster of events create fluctuating emotions which cause me to have spurts of ups and downs. These fluctuating emotions cause me to live a life that is unstable, dictated by my emotions.
Yet, if I understand the word of God correctly, I am instructed to possess the joy of the Lord. How can I truly demonstrate the joy of the Lord if I am constantly at war with my emotions? How can I be joyous when life dictates I should be sad? Should I only be joyous when life is going well or circumstance are working as I desire? Absolutely not!
The Psalmist shares that in every situation, we can have joy. Psalms 28:7 advises me that God is my strength, and my heart is filled with joy because I know God helps me! Psalms 13:5 informs me that God's unfailing love is just cause for me to be joyous. Psalms 33:21 reminds me that I rejoice as I trust in God. There are so many reminders encouraging us to be joyous, yet so many times we are not.
Why?
I find the answer is in our focus. Yes! It is imperative for us all to have goals and to work to accomplish these goals. However, it is extremely important that we always be focused. Focused on what? Therein lies the real question.
If your focus is on moving targets, then your walk will always fluctuate. However, if you have one clear focus, a constant strength, a constant force, a constant friend, you will have a constant joy!
I encourage you today to check your focus. Your outlook determines your destination. If you are focused on the wrong object, you will end up in the wrong place. Ensure that your focus is God. If God is your focus, then you will find constant joy in all you do. You begin to understand that God is your refuge, your strength, your hope, your all in all. Once your focus is correct, you find life is a lot easier to bear, creating a more joyous adventure.
Come! Let's celebrate this life and remember that the God of peace and joy is our center! God is our focus!

Striving Towards Our Dreams

Paulo Coelho said "Follow your dreams, even if that includes going through some nightmares."

I find it interesting how people who are considered "of the world" know to practice a Biblical principle better than those who are supposed to be "of the church". Why is it that they are able to realize the importance of working through to a dream, while so many Christians just give up once it gets hard? Was life supposed to be easy? I want to know, who lied to us and told us that all the good things in this life are cheap or easy? Who told us we deserved it all and therefore we will earn things without working for them? When did we learn that dreams are accomplished by those who do not persevere nor work for what they dreamt?

I don't know about you, but I want to work towards my dreams, and not because they are my dreams, but because they are the dreams HE dreams for me. If God is the soul giver of my dreams, why would I think that working hard to accomplish these would not bring my dream to fruition? Why would I think that if God is the author of my dream, that in the face of a little or a lot of adversity I will not be able to accomplish my dream?

I recently began to look at the story of Joseph, a young man who had a dream. He didn't even really understand his dream, but he knew it was a significant dream. He understood it was a dream that came from God. He understood that he had dreamed a dream which would come to pass regardless of the opposition, as long as he worked diligently through life’s situations in order to accomplish it.

However, we form part of a generation that is accustomed to receiving instantaneous results. We form part of a generation that is used to receiving everything with minimal work. Technology has spoiled us to think that we can put forth minimal effort and still earn great rewards. Therefore, we don’t understand what it means to really work hard to earn rewards. We don’t understand the principle of sowing and reaping. We don’t understand what it means to hold our ground despite of the tidal waves which rise up against us and our dreams.

Nevertheless, it is time that we realize that opposition to our dreams will come. Obstacles will rise up. Life will test your dream. Life will test you. It will try to see if you are worthy of that dream. Still, it is important that regardless of what may rise up against our dream, we hold steadfast to that dream, not allowing our character to waver or become questionable in the pursuit of our dream. Not allowing our integrity to shift just to make the accomplishment of our dream easier. No! It is time for us to work hard at accomplishing our dreams, as we hold on to what we know to be truth, not allowing life to dissuade us.

Genesis 37, 39 – 50 envelopes the story of Joseph. It is a story of hope. It is a story of joy. It is a story of success. Why? Because, in spite of all of life's test and opposition, Joseph did not allow his character to waver. He knew he had been called to greatness. He knew he was destined for so much more than what he had. But he did not complain like most of us. He did not allow himself to mope around in his pit and cry about how unfair it was to be in his situation. He did not waver! Instead, he embraces every situation in which he finds himself and he makes the best of that situation.

When I see him in the pit crying out for his brothers, he realizes the people closest to him have betrayed him. He understands that he shared his dream with the wrong people. How many times have we shared our dreams with people just to see those people turn on us because of our dreams? How many times have we confided in others who only strive to show us how stupid or impossible our dream is? How many times do we trust those closest to us and they stab us in the back because they “hate” on our dream? How many times do we allow our dream to fail because of others?

When life tests our determination, when it throws obstacles in our path, it is not the time to give up. It is the time to keep pressing forward. It is a time to realize that in spite of the nightmare, in spite of the hazards, in spite of the “nay-sayers”, we will move forward and accomplish all that we have been destined to accomplish. You may have destiny, but it is not predetermined that you will reach your destiny. Your hard work and dedication are what make it happen.

Decide today to make your dreams become a reality. Do not allow life to rob you of your dreams. Do not let people influence you to give up your dreams. Do not allow yourself to give up during a time when you should press harder to accomplish your dreams!

Make your dreams a reality. Embrace the conflict and press on. Allow yourself to be malleable in order to be able to forge through every situation. However, in your flexibility, do not give up your integrity or the principles which will bring you success!

I hope you decide to live out your dreams.